Sights and Sounds of Silence
As America is starting to “re-open” after a devastating two month lockdown, I am taking a moment (or two) to sit back, and think about these last eight weeks. It has actually been 10 weeks since my family and I sought refuge in the Berkshires, fleeing a New York City that felt increasingly panicky. Our neighbor in the building, who is an Emergency Room doctor, advised us at the time to get away as quickly and as far as possible. My daughter’s school had not yet officially closed, but students were already staying home from class. So we loaded up the car and left, like many fortunate others.
By Daderot. - Self-photographed, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1005375
We made it about 120 miles north of Manhattan in an area called The Berkshires. This bucolic rolling landscape sits mostly in Western Massachusetts, but spills over into Connecticut and New York State, equidistant from Boston and New York City. Even though The Berkshires have a sizable second home population, they have become a magnet for retirees as well as people with flexible work schedules, who decide to try out a change of pace. Most end up staying. The hospitality options are plentiful and of very high quality. The culture is unmatched, with Mass MoCA, Tanglewood and Jacob’s Pillow just a few of the world class institutions, which can be found within a scenic drive of each other. Of course none of this mattered the last two months, and maybe that was a good thing.
As “Working From Home” and “Online Learning” made their way into our household, we gradually settled into a routine. My work requires me to start the day early, and allows me more free time in the afternoons. My partner consults companies in need of public relations, media coverage and crisis management. Our daughter is a rising sophomore at Bard High School Early College in Manhattan, and I must commend her professors. The school has a large representation of disadvantaged families, and providing such a high quality education can already be challenging in the best of circumstances. Our son is a rising junior at the University of Southern California, and his classes start around noon EST. So besides the fact that it can be challenging to organize a meal together before dinner time, all of us go about our business in a relatively organized way. In the afternoons we take walks, ride bicycles, and hopefully soon will be able to play some tennis again. All of us are very conscious of our good fortune being able to do these things without the stress or anxiety prevailing in New York City. At this time it is not clear when we will return from this self imposed exile. We will hear in about a month whether my son’s university will offer in-person classes in the fall. If not, we are thinking of him taking a gap semester and re-enter in Spring 2021. He misses the college vibes and California itself. Who wouldn’t as a healthy 18 year old? I have to assume that the NYC public school system will restart after Labor Day, but who knows.
One thing I find though, is that my life has slowed down considerably. Despite the economic uncertainty and the anxiety, both physical and mental, I seem to live in some sort of slow motion. It could be a form of resignation, since worrying about things that we cannot control is essentially a waste of time and resources, however I would like to think that it is more inspiring than that. I don’t get up as quickly in the morning, I count my breaths several times a day, even while doing other things, and I seem more mindful of my surroundings. Like many others, I took the Yale course “The Science of Well-Being” and I try my hand at impossibly difficult puzzles by Lantern Press.
Regardless of where you are, I suggest you try to use this unique moment as a time-out. Even if you are an essential worker (respect!) or a full time volunteer (again respect!), try to carve out some time in your day to stop and be mindful, not just of others and your surroundings, but also of yourself. Use an app (I like Insight Timer, for it’s considerable free content). If you have an Apple Watch, use the breathe function (I recommend 4 or 5 breaths per minute). Walk around and find a quiet spot. Take a photo.
Times like these may never return in our lifetimes, so use them to your advantage. Do what you always do, but slower. And when life returns to normal, take a moment and consider what was normal to you. Revisit your priorities, and try to not to waste this opportunity by falling in the same old trap. We should all come out of this having learned a lesson. What this lesson is, can be different for different people, but the world will be a better place, if we all start with ourselves. Evaluate and re-evaluate. I wish you good fortune and be well.